Have you ever listened to someone saying, “men/women are all the same”? This is a good example of holding on to past events and limiting the belief that you have something to say regarding creating your future. As a coach, I’m a witness to how these unhelpful thoughts play a negative role in people's lives.
Here’s one of the countless tools to forgive others and yourself – adapted from R. Klimes:
1. Recognise anger and hurt caused by clearly identified offences from yours and others' acts,
2. Prohibit revenge, and any thoughts of wanting to harm as punishment or reprimand for the offender or yourself,
3. Consider the perspective of the offender, that could be you in the past. Try to understand that person's attitude and behaviour – they’ve done the best they know and can,
4. Decide to accept the hurt without taking it back out on the offender. This only magnifies it. Instead, ask yourself “What can I learn about myself through this situation?”,
5. Offer compassion and goodwill to the offender and to yourself. This frees the offended from the offence.
Why let go, forgive? Simple answer – Freedom and peace to build a future full of healthy possibilities that are not based on past painful events.
I wish you health, peace and courage to Be Love!